Bapak tuh orang yang nggak banyak omong. Seringnya keliatan seperti cuek dan EGP, but once you got to know him and he agreed with your existence, he turned to be a nice person and would talk a lot.
Jaman sekolah dulu, cuma beberapa orang aja teman-teman cowok gw yang bisa ngobrol sama bapak. Yang lain jiper, karena seringnya cuma diliatin aja dan senyum basa basi sekedarnya pas mereka main ke rumah. Waktu gw kuliah dan awal kerja punya duit sendiri, bapak yang selalu nungguin gue pulang kalau gue pulang larut malam. Sampai ketiduran di depan tv. Dan begitu lihat gue pulang dalam keadaan komplit, lanjut dia tidur masuk ke dalam kamar.
Awal-awal ngantor dan waktu hamil anak pertama, bapak rajin antar-jemput gue ke kantor. Hampir tiap hari. Entah karena emang takut anak perempuan satu-satunya ini lecet, atau cuma kasian karena duit gajinya bakal habis buat ongkos doang haha..
And I’d say that we both are quite the same, in some ways. It is our default to put our poker face on, don’t talk much, reserve our thoughts to ourselves, and prefer to perform silent treatment if we don’t agree to something.
No parents are flawless. Bapak may not be the best father, but I know he tried to be a good one. He didn’t spoil us with money which might look “cruel” in the eyes of children, but then it taught us to be prudent in spending money cause we know how hard it is to earn it. He might seem unfair in treating his children, but now I know that sometimes it is hard for parents for not choosing sides. It was often unbelievably difficult to understand him, but that was just the way he was.
40 hari sudah.
Maaf ya pak kalau Lia suka males mampir ke rumah buat nengokin. Suka ngomelin, suka nggak sabaran. Maaf kalau suka sok sibuk sendiri. Belum bisa ngasih apa-apa. Mungkin apa yang dilakukan selama ini, seujung kuku pun belum bisa dikategorikan sebagai bakti anak kepada ayahnya.
Maafin ya pak. I hope I didn’t fail you.
Al Fatihah.
U. Saifurobi Arudji Kartawinata, 19 Sept 1938 – 18 Mar 2023.