Category: Uncategorized

Bapak.

Bapak tuh orang yang nggak banyak omong. Seringnya keliatan seperti cuek dan EGP, but once you got to know him and he agreed with your existence, he turned to be a nice person and would talk a lot.

Jaman sekolah dulu, cuma beberapa orang aja teman-teman cowok gw yang bisa ngobrol sama bapak. Yang lain jiper, karena seringnya cuma diliatin aja dan senyum basa basi sekedarnya pas mereka main ke rumah. Waktu gw kuliah dan awal kerja punya duit sendiri, bapak yang selalu nungguin gue pulang kalau gue pulang larut malam. Sampai ketiduran di depan tv. Dan begitu lihat gue pulang dalam keadaan komplit, lanjut dia tidur masuk ke dalam kamar.

Awal-awal ngantor dan waktu hamil anak pertama, bapak rajin antar-jemput gue ke kantor. Hampir tiap hari. Entah karena emang takut anak perempuan satu-satunya ini lecet, atau cuma kasian karena duit gajinya bakal habis buat ongkos doang haha..

And I’d say that we both are quite the same, in some ways. It is our default to put our poker face on, don’t talk much, reserve our thoughts to ourselves, and prefer to perform silent treatment if we don’t agree to something.

No parents are flawless. Bapak may not be the best father, but I know he tried to be a good one. He didn’t spoil us with money which might look “cruel” in the eyes of children, but then it taught us to be prudent in spending money cause we know how hard it is to earn it. He might seem unfair in treating his children, but now I know that sometimes it is hard for parents for not choosing sides. It was often unbelievably difficult to understand him, but that was just the way he was.

40 hari sudah.

Maaf ya pak kalau Lia suka males mampir ke rumah buat nengokin. Suka ngomelin, suka nggak sabaran. Maaf kalau suka sok sibuk sendiri. Belum bisa ngasih apa-apa. Mungkin apa yang dilakukan selama ini, seujung kuku pun belum bisa dikategorikan sebagai bakti anak kepada ayahnya.

Maafin ya pak. I hope I didn’t fail you.

Al Fatihah.

U. Saifurobi Arudji Kartawinata, 19 Sept 1938 – 18 Mar 2023.

Pulang

Dulu banget waktu gue kecil dan tinggal di Kayu Putih, keluarga dan rumah mamah Dayat dan teh Yati jadi keluarga dan rumah gue yang kedua – saking seringnya gue kabur ke rumah mereka untuk main-makan-mandi-tidur di sana. Mamah Dayat udah gue anggap sebagai nyokap gue sendiri, begitu pun dengan teh Yati, anak kedua mamah Dayat, yang udah gue anggap sebagai kakak kandung perempuan gue. As I can recall, they always poured me with their love. Sincere love.

Mid Desember 2020, mereka berpulang ke rahmatullah. Terinfeksi covid-19 ditambah dengan komorbid. Kepulangan keduanya hanya berselang beberapa jam aja, dan makam mereka pun hanya berselang satu makam.

Sedih. My heart broke.

Lalu,

Pagi ini, dapat kabar duka kalau bi Yetty, adik mamah,  berpulang ke rahmatullah. Terminally ill dan metastase ke organ-organ lain. Dari awal terdiagnosis sampai kepulangannya, hanya hitungan hari.

Bibi gue yang cantik,  I always adore her graceful pretty face. Yang nggak pernah keliatan marah. Always put a bright smile on her face. Bibi gue yang rumahnya sering jadi tempat gue nginep kalau lagi main ke Bandung. Bibi gue yang hapal kesukaan gue, jajan somay hokkie yang lewat depan rumahnya. Bibi gue yang polos, yang kalau digodain sama keponakan-keponakannya yang jail, malah ikutan ketawa, sama sekali nggak kesel. Bibi gue yang selalu ceria, yang selalu semangat kalau ada kumpul-kumpul keluarga. Bibi gue..

This very sad news hit me.

These 3 wonderful and beautiful women, they were full of nothing but love, affection and kindness. Their souls were pure and warm; always resonated good vibes to their surrounding. Whenever I picture them in my mind, it’s as if they are looking at me, smiling, and I still can hear clearly the way they sound when calling me.

Orang-orang baik. Sangat baik. Lots of vivid memories of my times spent with them, and they’re all loving memories.

It hurts, when you lost people you dear so much but you couldn’t be with them for the last time.

Untuk almarhumah Mamah Dayat, Teh Yati dan Bi Yetty. Al Fatihah.

~ We surely belong to Allah and to Him we shall return ~

Level 42 (and half)

Bear with me, guys. When you’re in midlife crisis, nothing bothers you more than those 2-figure-numbers called AGE. SO yes, I’m on my Level 42 now and soon this number will add up. Sucks, huh?

40ish

When you are in your 40ish, life is running along at your pace, if calling it boring is a bit too strong. That’s why you’ll need to do something else beside your work and your family to keep your soul alive and sane.

Workout

Is it true? or you just simply want to prove that di tahap jompo pemula ini, you still can do what other younger people do? Some kinda your softest version of denial that you’re getting old? Well…

Beberapa bulan ini lagi seneng banget ngegym di sport club tempat gue biasa berenang. Sport club di komplek perumahan, nggak terlalu besar tapi alat-alatnya cukup lengkap meski agak tergolong outdated. Dapat PT yang baik banget, meski suka nyiksa kasih exercise yang bikin pengen nangis, tapi terus dia jadi nggak tega sendiri dan nawarin “mau dikurangin nggak hitungannya?” TENTU TIDAAKKK!!!!!

Maybe it’s only me, but when I push myself to the limit, I feel so thrilled! Rasanya nggak kalah sama yang lebih mudaan dari gue (SEE !!!). If they can do it, I can do the exact thing although it’ll take me some time longer to get there.

Gue pengen sehat. Have strong muscle. Nggak mau dibikin repot sama persendian yang sakit hanya karena gue jarang olahraga. Gue masih suka jajan, belum sampai tahap untuk clean eating. Tapi gue masih pengen lihat anak-anak gue sampai mereka nikah dan punya anak, dan by the time it happens, gue mau kondisi gue dalam keadaan yang sehat. Dan yang terutama adalah, I want a toned shape! If slim or lean is too much, that toned shape will do me absolutely fine.

When Life Gives You Lemons..

… i’m not going to make some lemonades because it adds some more tasks for me to do. So either I’ll have someone to make lemonade for me, or I can just leave them in the fridge. Or else, I’ll squirt them into people’s eyes!

Can you see now how 40ish I am ???